Ah! My... Goddess?
by Blue Violet
Summary: Just a parody of the manga, Ah! Megami-sama.


Ah! My... Goddess?

NOTE: Somebody suggested that I write a story about an angel Quatre. I think there are way too many angel Quatre fics that have been written that if I write one also, it would end up very cliche or like something somebody else wrote. I could be sued for plagiarism!! So, how about a fic where Quatre becomes a uh, goddess? So here you have it, one 'Ah! Megami-sama' parody fic. 

WARNINGS: Stupidity and well, OOC charas. OK, those are not warnings. Are they? 

Dedicated to one of my loyal readers, Hentai Chibi. :) Hope you like.   
  
  


Ah! My... Goddess?

  


byBlue Violet

  
  
  


"Hn. Good for this Keiichi person that he has a goddess to bail him out of trouble every time," Trowa Barton thought as he set down volume 1 of the Japanese comic 'Ah! My Goddess' by Kosuke Fujushima. "Not only that, Belldandy's a real babe and is his girlfriend, too, even though Keiichi is such a wimp. Damn. Why is it that in fiction, even the loser gets all the hottest babes?" 

The tall eighteen-year-old brunette sighed deeply as he dropped to his side on the rickety two-seater in the lounging room of his university dorm. He was a freshman at Huntington University and even though the other freshman seemed to have settled down with college life and have gotten involved with what the other college kids did, he still felt awkward and out of place. 

College courses were much harder than all the crap he had to learn in high school and he didn't know how to work the washing machine. He thought that college girls would be totally gorgeous and sophisticated but so far all he had seen were girls giggling in an obnoxiously childish manner. He wondered if it was true that males mature later than females because those girls sure seemed a lot like the girls he met back in high school. If he wanted a more mature woman, he'd have to go for the older college female population and he was sure that none of them would give them the time of the day and he didn't want to end up looking like a young boy-toy or something. 

Plus, if he had to eat another cup of instant noodles, he swore that he would go on a hunger strike. Then again, he didn't know how to cook anything else and he didn't want to waste his money on McDonald's every meal time so well, going on a hunger strike wasn't a good option. 

At least he wasn't a total dork without a friend in the entire campus. The senior guys in his dorm were kind of OK even though they were a weird lot. He remembered the night the guys in his dorm had a welcoming party for the freshman, which involved barrels of beer and of course, resulted in everybody getting drunk - except for him. If there was one thing he prided himself on, it was the fact that he had a high alcohol tolerance and that made him the winner at every beer-drinking contest. But what had shocked him (and amused him) on that night was that when the seniors got drunk, they would dress each other in women's wear and give each other makeovers. 

Trowa smirked to himself. It was a scene he would forever remember, that was for sure, and he would probably see more in the future when there would be another party in his dorm. 

Anyhow, it was still just a few weeks after college had begun and Trowa guessed that it just took some people different lengths of time to get used to college living. After all, he had lived in the comfort of his home where his dirty laundry was well taken care of and if he was hungry, he would only have to raid the fridge. Well, at least he still had an allowance so he wouldn't have to work in some shabby eatery. Thank heavens for that. 

He could just imagine himself working at perhaps McDonald's and asking, "Would you like to have fries with that?" to every single customer he had to deal with. He could just imagine himself getting scalded with the hot from the fries' fryer thingamajig and sweating like a disgusting pig as he cleaned up the mucky floors. Ewww… No sirree. He, Trowa Barton was definitely not meant to do labour work. 

Still… 

"It would be really cool if I had a goddess like Belldandy - then I wouldn't have to do any assignments or figure out how to use that blasted washing machine and then I wouldn't even have to search for a girlfriend," Trowa mused to himself. "Of course, these things only happen in comics and storybooks but still, one can't help wishing, right?" 

Suddenly, there was a blast of light in the lounge which emitted from the mirror hanging in the middle of the wall right behind where Trowa was sitting and before he could even utter a yelp, something fell on top of him. Or rather, a somebody fell on top of him. 

"Yeowch! Why couldn't I have landed on something softer?" a voice grumbled from above Trowa's form. "Damn. I could have sworn that I was supposed to land on a sofa and not on something that feels like twigs poking me in the back." 

"Erm, excuse me?" Trowa called out weakly because he was out of breath and well, who wouldn't be out of breath if somebody fell on top of you? And especially if that somebody wasn't so light to begin with! 

"Eh? What are you doing there?" the person sitting on Trowa - a guy - asked with an eyebrow raised. He hopped off of Trowa- as if Trowa was the couch itself - and pulled him into a sitting position. 

"Thanks, I think," Trowa mumbled as he sucked in a huge breath. "Anyway, what did you mean by your question? I should be asking you, not you, me. After all, you were the one who suddenly fell on top of me." 

"Oh, sorry. I was supposed to get out of that tacky mirror with the tacky plastic orange rim from Ikea and land on this sofa but how in the world was I supposed to know that there was somebody lying on it. God, I'm not a psychic for heaven's sake!" 

Now that Trowa's head wasn't spinning, he could see the person standing before him quite clearly. He was about a few inches shorter than he was and was quite fair with eyes the colour of the ocean and light blonde hair with the bangs hanging in front of the eyes like a sort of veil. The blonde had a voice that seemed almost melodic and looked pretty much younger and boyish. In fact, if Taylor wasn't certain that this person wasn't a guy, he could have mistaken him for a boyish girl. OK, that was pushing it but really, to Taylor this guy seemed soft and innocent in a child-like way - not like any of the other guys he knew. 

Well, duh, obviously the guy wasn't like any of the guys he knew! The guys he knew wouldn't be popping out of mirrors, would they? And surely they wouldn't be wearing something that looked like a frock in broad daylight - unless of course, it was the most happening thing to be worn in the great fashion scene. Even if it were, he doubted that any guy would go about wearing a pink one. 

"What are you staring at?" the blonde asked him irritable after a few silent moments. "I know it's not everyday a person appears out from a mirror but hey, it's not as if I look like a monster, do I?" 

"Erm… it's nothing with the way you look but you, uh, came out from that mirror?" Trowa stuttered as he pointed to the mirror behind him. "And you're wearing a pink frock," he added silently. 

'Well, duh," the blonde exclaimed as he rolled his eyes. "Didn't I just say that? Are you like, deaf or something?" 

"Wow. It's just like in the comic," Trowa said to himself in amazement. "Yeah, right. As if something from a comic would happen in real life. I must be dreaming." 

"How can you be dreaming if you aren't sleeping?" the other boy retorted. 

"Then… what are you doing here?" 

"Because you wished for a goddess." 

"Are you a goddess then?" 

"No, I'm your father," the blonde asked sarcastically. "Hello? Do I look like a goddess to you? Do I even look like a girl?" 

Trowa was about to say yes just to make the other boy annoyed but he decided against it. 

"No. Than what are you? A god?" 

"I wish," the blonde muttered. "Nah, I'm not a god. There's only one God, you know and he's the big boss up there," the blonde pointed a finger upwards. "Here read this tag - you'll understand then." 

Trowa peered at the name tag hanging on a rope from the blonde's neck and read the words on it: 

_ First Class Goddess Meia. Always glad to be of service to humanity and have a nice day!_

"I thought you said you weren't a goddess," Trowa pointed out, his head beginning to spin like the washing machine he couldn't work again. "And isn't Meia a girl's name?" 

"What?" the blonde nearly shouted and he took a look at his tag then groaned. "Oh shit. I accidentally took my sister's tag! Damn. Mine must be with her right now." 

"Well, if that tag belongs to your sister and her name is Meia, then what's yours?" Trowa asked curiously. "And if you aren't a goddess, then what are you supposed to be? A munchkin? A pixie? Santa's elf? Wait, don't tell me - you're the male version of Tinker Bell and you're going to take me on a tour to Never Land." 

"Haha. You're a real riot. For your information, I am NOT a goddess or a god. I am… something like a guardian kind of person but NOT a guardian angel because I don't have any wings - see?" the blonde twirled around to show that there wasn't any wings on his shoulders. "But I can assure you that I am NOT Satan or one of his minions either. By the way, I am Quatre and I am also NOT the male version of Tinker Bell! And I do not know where in blazes Never Land is so don't count on me to take you there!" 

"Yeah, yeah. So Quatre, the person who came out of the tacky mirror and is not a goddess or a god or a guardian angel," Trowa said sarcastically. "How do I know that you're really NOT Satan or his minion? God, I can't believe I'm actually talking to a person who just fell out of the mirror! This has got to be a crazy dream." 

"Look, I told you that this isn't a dream," the blonde said exasperatedly. "I'll prove it to you." With that he pinched Trowa's cheek hard till he yelped in pain. 

"You didn't have to do that, you know!" Trowa grumbled as he rubbed at his sore cheek. "Geez. I can't believe somebody who _looks_ like you can pinch that hard." 

"Anyway, back to my story. I have done a lot of good deeds in my entire life and career as a guardian," the blonde said matter-of-factly as he ignored Trowa's grumble. "Even though you people may not know it but us guardians and goddesses have long been helping all of humanity every way we could. And since we look pretty much like humans also, nobody has ever suspected that we aren't one of them when carrying out our duties." 

"So, what kind of deeds have you done, huh?" 

"Well, I help out at the shelter for homeless people for starters," he paused and smiled. "And I help old grannies cross the road down Main Street." 

"Uh, OK. I guess I'll have to take your word even though I'm not sure whether to believe you or not," Trowa said warily. "Anyway, if I wished for a goddess in the first place, why are you here? And I thought that I was supposed to dial some stupid number on the phone like Keiichi did." 

"Oh. Last time the system was like that but then there were too many morons who were kept calling us to order pizza so we don't have that ordering a goddess through phone thing anymore," Quatre explained. "Anyhow, we sort of have a shortage on goddesses up there so I had to be sent here to be your um, 'goddess'." 

"Eh? How could there be a shortage of goddesses?" 

"I only have twenty-nine sisters, you know! And because of that Kosuke Fujishima person, a lot of people like you are wishing for goddesses and if the rest of my sisters had all ready gone to live with the people who wished for them, there wouldn't be any other goddess left. My sisters even made a lucky draw to pick out the names of the lucky guys they'll be staying with." 

"Shortage on staff, I can understand but why send you if you aren't a goddess?" 

"Duty calls. And probably because I was bored and I thought I'd be your friend since you looked like you needed one." 

"Gee, thanks for making me a charity case," Trowa said nastily. "You think that I'm really that unpopular? I do have friends, you know." 

"You're welcome - and you can cut the sarcasm before I lose my temper and turn you into a frog," Quatre said in the same tone as Trowa. "Or a wild boar. How's that then? You won't be able to get yourself a girl then and I know what your situation is right now." 

"Everything?" Trowa asked, his face reddening. 

"Everything," confirmed Quatre with a laugh. "Even the part where you don't even know how to work the washing machine." 

"God, this is so embarrassing," Trowa groaned. "My ego smashed to smithereens… Ah! What a tragic, tragic thing to happen." 

"You're really funny - and weird," Quatre commented with another laugh. "I wonder why you still don't have a girlfriend. It's not as if you look gruesome or anything. If I were a girl, I would probably think you were cute." 

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" Trowa demanded, feeling a bit irritated at the other boy's bluntness. "Because if it was, it didn't really sound like one." 

"Oh, come on!" Quatre threw his hands up exasperatedly. "You're not going to get whiny on me, are you? Look, I know I'm not a goddess like you wanted and I know I'm not that thrilled to be your guardian person but hey, if I'm to be stuck with you forever then we'd better get used to each other." 

"Fine. I'll try to get used to you," Trowa muttered reluctantly. Suddenly, he remembered something. A really, really important something. "Oh, damn. If you're stuck with me then where in the world are you going to stay? I share a room with Ted and anyway, the room's too crammed to fit another person. Plus, you're not even a student from here and I can't hide you under my bed like I would a cat." 

"Where there's a will, there's a way, right?" Quatre said with a shrug. "We can just get out of this dump and rent a house or a room somewhere else." 

"Do you think that money grows on trees?" Trowa asked pointedly. "I don't have that much money to splurge on unnecessary stuff, you know." 

"I think you forgot that you have a guardian right now," Quatre said dryly. "I may not be a genie who can grant you great riches but I can make your life luckier with my power. So, searching for a house would be the main thing on our agenda but I think I'd like to have some fun first." 

"We could hang out someplace downtown, if you like," Trowa suggested with a careless shrug. "I've been there so many times it's gotten to be as fun as a ride on a dumb carousel but that's the only place if you want to do something. At least there's a cinema, an arcade and stuff." 

"Cool! The only fun thing I've ever done during my duty visits on Earth was getting a ride on a carousel at some fun fair two years ago," Quatre exclaimed with an excited smile and anticipation of the fun waiting for him downtown. There was also a hint of nostalgia in his eyes as he remembered the memory. Trowa wondered if this guy was for real or was he just being sarcastic? "Oh, and I remember having a corn dog and cotton candy! I got sick after that and I barfed all over this little girl's head. That was so awful of me!" 

"Um, so maybe we should be going now so we can search for a house or an apartment or something later?" 

"Yeah, sure. But first I gotta change first," Quatre said, pointing to his frock. "I can't go out looking like this! They wouldn't let me wear anything but this for my 'goddess' duties!!" He scowled but then he smiled. "It's a good thing now I can wear whatever I like." 

A myriad of colours swirled around Quatre as if a rainbow tornado was engulfing him - the only difference between that and a real tornado that the one around Quatre didn't make any noise or sucked up everything in sight like an annoying gargantuan vacuum cleaner. Thank heavens for that or else the whole dorm would have been like a disaster zone. 

When the last swirls of colours had faded off in to existence, Trowa saw that indeed, Quatre had managed to change his previous outfit into something new - this time he was wearing black jeans, black ankle boots and a black longed-sleeved shirt with a few buttons undone at the top. Quatre looked… like a Man in Black to Trowa and he felt that the dark colour contrasting with the guardian's fair hair and complexion made him look even younger if that was possible. 

"So, do I look hot or do I look hot?" Quatre asked in a sultry voice, striking a pose. It only made Trowa burst out into amused laughter which in turn got a glare from Quatre. "What's so funny?" 

"You," Trowa managed to say in between laughs. Seeing Quatre staring at him with an expression that silently demanded an explanation, he forced himself to stop laughing but that resulted in him getting the blasted hiccups next. "You look like a fourteen-year old who's trying to make himself look older." 

"I do not look like a fourteen-year old! For your information, I am around your age and I don't care what you say about me - I think you're just jealous that I look cool and you don't," Quatre said defiantly and threw a glance at the taller man which said, "So THERE." He pulled out a pair of shades from his shirt pocket and put it on. 

"Yeah, yeah.. whatever you say," Trowa muttered with a grin as he followed Quatre out of the dorm and wondered if the blonde really was a Man in Black. 

The little walk to downtown was quite interesting to Trowa that day. Usually he felt like downtown was well, downtown with all the people and places that stayed the same every time he went there. This time though, he felt as if he were showing a tourist (whom was Quatre) around the area and the blonde's energetic enthusiasm somewhat made the trip a livelier one. The blonde would drag him into ice-cream parlors and video arcades to see and try out a lot of things he wasn't able to do before during his duty visits on Earth. Trowa was happy to oblige since he didn't have to pay even a single cent for anything - Quatre could easily shove his hands in his pockets and come up with as much money as he wanted to. 

After a whole afternoon of fun, they decided to scout for a house or perhaps an apartment or whatever as long as it's some place to stay. At last, they saw a huge notice stuck onto the notice board of some shop. 'APARTMENT FOR RENT!!!', the notice screamed. Obviously they decided to go meet the owner of the apartment and off they went to the given address. 

Wow! I have written a non-yaoi fic!! Amazing. So what do minna-san think? Is it good? Does it need to be continued? This is quite a long fic I've written. Well, if minna-san wants me to continue, I will make this fic progress into a yaoi fic and throw in Heero, Duo and Wufei for good measure also. :) How about that? I'll continue this fic if I get enough responses. - BV 

  
  
  
  


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